From Maria's Desk

Leeds, England registered UK Charity No.1087961
Kingsport, USA charitable non-profit # 86-0957704
Oradea, Romania registered Charity No.14839712

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A Letter from Maria's Desk - July 2015

"Iíve had enough!"Ö

How many times in your life do you use this phrase? How many times have you said? "God, I canít do it anymore! Iíve had enough, I canít take it!"

Letís be honest, each of us have moments when we say: "God, I canít do it anymore, Iíve had enough!" If you do not have those times - Iím really happy for you!

In my case, Iím afraid I do have these feelings. Yes, I have my moments too. This past month I had a few of them that made me to shout out loud and say: "I canít do it anymore, Iíve had enough".  But let me tell you how my month has been and perhaps you will understand me a little better.

May was a great month for me. A celebration month! I celebrated 2 years of being married, I celebrated Cornel Rostas graduation, the first Gypsy boy to achieve High School Graduation. I celebrated a good start to the mission trip season and some other small things that brought lots of smiles on my face!!

So why was this month different? Well, maybe because Iíve had several Ďnegativeí things happening around me.

At the beginning of June, I received a phone call from a dear friend telling me that she suspects she has cancer. So a few weeks later, she went to the doctor to get lots of test done. (She is still waiting to have the final results). While talking to her about the situation she told me "Maria, I canít take it anymore. Iíve had enough. Too much for me".

I was really surprised to hear her saying this especially that she is one of the people that Iím looking up to so many times. I admire her a lot. So hearing this made me wonder why she would say these words?! Soon after that I stopped judging her and I looked at how I react when something goes wrong. And I realised, I have my moments too!

On June 8th I was at the maternity hospital in the city because a dear person close to me gave birth to a wonderful baby girl. While waiting for this miracle to happen, I was talking to a few young ladies that were there and they started to tell me their life stories. One told me that the doctor had told her to do an abortion. She was 4 months into the pregnancy but because the baby was Down Syndrome, there was no point to bring him on this earth! Another one told me that she was working on the field and she fell and lost the baby. Another one told me that she is expecting her 8th child and because she did not want to have an abortion as the doctor suggested, she will now struggle with raising the child. All ended up with the same phrase "Iíve had enough. I canít take it anymore".

On June 17th and 18th I had the nursery and school graduations. If you ask me how we managed another academic year through all the financial challenges we have to face in this country, I would answer you ĎONLY THROUGH GODíS GRACEí! It was an amazing time for me to see little Natasha (Iíve told you many times about her during this academic year) saying her poem LOUD in front of so many people, made my day. It also made me cry! Last September she did not say a word. She was wild in a true meaning of the word. Now, because of the love we showed her, she is a new person!

As a reward of their hard work at the end of the school year, we at Smiles always give them a chocolate! It might not mean a lot to you or to kids that have everything. But for these kids it means a lot! For me to take £200/$300 from the budget in order to buy chocolates was a lot too. Why? Because £200/$300 goes a long way for me in Tileagd. I can buy food for one week. I can buy a truck of wood in order to have it for the winter. I can pay the electricity bill for one month. BUT IíM HAPPY that this time I chose to buy chocolate! Iím thankful for every single person that donates money towards the Tileagd project. I know it is hard to choose each month where your money goes, but Iím thankful when you choose Tileagd!

In just a few days I have a meeting with the management team and Mr Hoy to talk about budgets. I never look forward to this annual meeting! At this moment in time, I know that the Tileagd project which includes nursery, school, community, medical and the church, is in deficit with £7000/$10,500, which is a little over £1000/$1,500 each month!

When I hear and see figures like this I often say "Iíve had enough, I canít take it anymore". But soon I remember. MY GOD IS A GREAT BIG GOD! And HE will find ways to make it work!!

Dear friend, please pray for me and please pray for the project. I know life is hard. I know we have expenses everywhere. I know that it is so easy to give up, but I do not want to see this project close or cut back. I want to see this project able to start another academic year in September without being in deficit all the time. To be honest, we have really learnt over the years how to live and operate with less but to do the same job at the same level of quality!

Things like this, pressure like this, at times makes me say "God, I canít do it. Iíve had enough! Iím too small"

BUT Iím thankful for the little things that make me happy! And on this note I want to close my report this month. Iím happy when I see kids graduating nursery and moving on into the school. Iím happy when I see kids graduating 8th grade or High School. Iím also very happy when I see the progress being made at JFL in Salonta, or in the Rapa community.

Iím happy when I can share my sadness and my joys with people like you. People that PRAY for me, for my team here in Romania and for the Projects. People that give their time to come and spend here with us. People that send their financial support in order for us to continue doing the job!

Iím thankful for all these things and if you can help me these months to operate without deficit, I will be so thankful to you for your kindness.

Iím happy when MY GOD is telling me Ďwhen Iím weak He is strongí and ĎHis Grace is sufficient for meí. I know that my real home is in Heaven and all the things I face here on earth on a daily basis (and they are quite a few) is just a test to make me a better person and preparing me for my eternal home!

So be blessed dear friends and thank you for being a blessing to me, my people here in Romania and my project.



Maria Hava ,
Director of Operations, Romania

Previous letters from Maria:
June 2015 - Things that make me happy

May 2015 - Butterflies
March 2015 - Sovereign over us

February 2015 - My Grace is sufficient for you
January 2015 - From the Management Team


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